23

A year older and a year wiser. Ye ka?

My birthday month is ending. Honestly I thought my birthday would be more fun but it wasnt. But I understand. People are busy. I'm busy as heck so yeah no time pun for celebration.

Yet another year I am all alone. My wish this year is that I am not gonna be spending my birthday alone no more. Ya Allah please. Next year please. Can I have someone that would treat me to dinner and just well celebrate with me. I don't want to be alone anymore.

Haha apa aku mengarut,

But I am still thankful that I have my parent and sister and friends. Alhamdulillah. Nothing that I can complain on. I always take what was given to me without complaining. My daddy taught me that and alhamdulillah for that too, I have become a person that really don't care. I can accept everything. Anything is possible. Goodjob daddy.

I am also grateful that I am still me. Nothing changes except I swear alot. The perks or maybe downside of driving a car to class. Not a day goes by that I didnt swear to people. Sorry people. But please just drive properly next time. Okay?

Alhamdulillah for everything that Allah have given me. And I am so grateful that things didnt change drastically over a period of 1 years. I am not fond to changes. I wish my parent have a lifelong life filled with Iman. And I also wish I can become a better person insyaAllah in the near future. Aminnn. 

Thanks for reading benda mengarut ni. Its late at night.

Najmin Roslan

Lost

Lost in confusion,

Confusion of my very one thought.

Maybe it wasn't a good decision,

But I shall give it a good fought.

My life, my body, my mind, my heart.

Must be in sync,

To focus on one thing and one thing only,

To my own recovery,

And self discovery.

It's dangerous,

How I let my heart to be vulnerable,

Please don't play with my heart,

It has enough stitches,

That could last a lifetime.

I am lost,

Lost in my own thoughts.

Maybe I can't read the signal,

I am being delusional.

I shall find the path again,

and to be on track,

The track where it all begin.

-najminroslan-

Updated version of my life

Time flies, looking back at previous heartbreak. I wasn't that bad now when I think about it.

Yes it was hard at first,

The fact that I will literally cried at the sound of his name, But now, shockingly not anymore. The pain was gone and my life has been all about moving on.

Come to think about it,

I am stronger than before,

I am more confident and I excel in my studies. How many people you can tell that out of the the whole batch, only two person who is in the dean list and you are one of it.

To get a dean for applied chemistry,

Thats an achievement for me and I can tell that Allah tengah pujuk me and I am very much grateful for everything that He ever gave to me.

As for now, I am happy to be on my own. I read my old post and how I was single for 3 years. If I can handle that, why can't now?

Now I really want to focus on my studies and to make my parents proud.

Jodoh tu rahsia Allah and I am a women, I love surprises. Especially if its from Allah swt. 

Najmin, whoever you may turn up to be in the future. Remember your roots and your believe. Some minor heartbreak only  will slow you down. Get back on that race and just keep walking forward.

Love you dear self. Remember that.