Road to adulthood

I just finished my degree in September 2017 and now I am working as a cosmetic chemist at one of the well-known cosmetic factory in Kedah. I am thrilled as this is an easy path for me as I got in as a lab assistant with no interview whatsoever. As a fresh grad, that ain't easy but that is the road that Allah had given me and Alhamdulillah it has been over a month since I am here and the people here are amazing. I love everything about this place.

The chemist here treat me like a little sister and they always share their experience with me and I believe that I will learn a lot from this place. I want to forever remember this place as my first job and remember how I started my career from a nobody. You are a nobody now Najmin. Work your way up InsyaAllah. Absorb everything. 

I can't believe that my dream is coming true. I am doing cosmetic now and I couldn't be happier. God has a funny way of making me learned Chemistry and take me back to my passion. This job is really am close to the heart. I had come to a realization of what I want to be now and its funny because reading back to my previous post when I was unsure. It's amazing. 

I am going to enjoy every second of these rezeki that Allah had given me and wake up everyday being thankful. 

Alhamdulillah,

Najmin Roslan

Heart wants what it wants

I am in no mood to play around,

I am 24. I know I have a hard time finding love for myself. I don't know what I did in the past but it sure is painful now the world that I am living. Takpe Najmin. Kesedihan tu penghapus dosa. You'll be stronger than before. InsyaAllah. You will find your happiness. Just believe in God's plan.

Loving someone is very painful. Thats why I stay away from it the first place. But I can't help myself from loving someone so deeply. I need to stop doing that before I have no more heart to begin with. Haha. 

You need to make sure you fall for the right person after this okay najmin? Okay la ni hang lex luu abis degreeee dah kan? Kemonnn!

Muhammad Nuh B Muhammad Khir

11 March 2017

My nephew was born. I still remember that day where I was so excited that my sister safely delivered the little bundle of joy name Muhammad Nuh. But he was in Shah Alam and I am all the way in Kedah.

I was so happy. I love that my family is growing big and I am a makcik now. I don't mind that. First a makcik, next a mother. I am 24 for goodness sake. I have woman hormones. HAHAHA  kbye

Back to Nuh, I first laid eyes on him when my sister came back to Kedah for her confinement. Little Nuh is so little. He was literally less than 10 days old. Then I spend my time with him all thru Najla's confinement and I love him. I even love him before he enters the world. p/s : mothers usually feel that way. Not aunties but oh well I just so hopelessly sentimental that way.

Now its 23 July, 2017. I am on the night before my last degree finals. Will take about that in my next post and he is basically almost 4 months now. How adorable. He right now resemble a lot like my late grandmother on my mother's side.

He is literally a joy to my small family. I can't wait for him to grow up and read this post and see how much I love him even before he was born. Haih anak aku nanti macamana laa sayangnya. Oh well, lambat lagi kan nak kahwin. Hmmm.

Love,
Your hormonal Cumin,

23

A year older and a year wiser. Ye ka?

My birthday month is ending. Honestly I thought my birthday would be more fun but it wasnt. But I understand. People are busy. I'm busy as heck so yeah no time pun for celebration.

Yet another year I am all alone. My wish this year is that I am not gonna be spending my birthday alone no more. Ya Allah please. Next year please. Can I have someone that would treat me to dinner and just well celebrate with me. I don't want to be alone anymore.

Haha apa aku mengarut,

But I am still thankful that I have my parent and sister and friends. Alhamdulillah. Nothing that I can complain on. I always take what was given to me without complaining. My daddy taught me that and alhamdulillah for that too, I have become a person that really don't care. I can accept everything. Anything is possible. Goodjob daddy.

I am also grateful that I am still me. Nothing changes except I swear alot. The perks or maybe downside of driving a car to class. Not a day goes by that I didnt swear to people. Sorry people. But please just drive properly next time. Okay?

Alhamdulillah for everything that Allah have given me. And I am so grateful that things didnt change drastically over a period of 1 years. I am not fond to changes. I wish my parent have a lifelong life filled with Iman. And I also wish I can become a better person insyaAllah in the near future. Aminnn. 

Thanks for reading benda mengarut ni. Its late at night.

Najmin Roslan

Lost

Lost in confusion,

Confusion of my very one thought.

Maybe it wasn't a good decision,

But I shall give it a good fought.

My life, my body, my mind, my heart.

Must be in sync,

To focus on one thing and one thing only,

To my own recovery,

And self discovery.

It's dangerous,

How I let my heart to be vulnerable,

Please don't play with my heart,

It has enough stitches,

That could last a lifetime.

I am lost,

Lost in my own thoughts.

Maybe I can't read the signal,

I am being delusional.

I shall find the path again,

and to be on track,

The track where it all begin.

-najminroslan-

Updated version of my life

Time flies, looking back at previous heartbreak. I wasn't that bad now when I think about it.

Yes it was hard at first,

The fact that I will literally cried at the sound of his name, But now, shockingly not anymore. The pain was gone and my life has been all about moving on.

Come to think about it,

I am stronger than before,

I am more confident and I excel in my studies. How many people you can tell that out of the the whole batch, only two person who is in the dean list and you are one of it.

To get a dean for applied chemistry,

Thats an achievement for me and I can tell that Allah tengah pujuk me and I am very much grateful for everything that He ever gave to me.

As for now, I am happy to be on my own. I read my old post and how I was single for 3 years. If I can handle that, why can't now?

Now I really want to focus on my studies and to make my parents proud.

Jodoh tu rahsia Allah and I am a women, I love surprises. Especially if its from Allah swt. 

Najmin, whoever you may turn up to be in the future. Remember your roots and your believe. Some minor heartbreak only  will slow you down. Get back on that race and just keep walking forward.

Love you dear self. Remember that.

Rindu

Kau tak rindu aku langsung ke?

Aku? Aku setiap hari aku rindu. Ya Allah.

Tolonglaa bahagia. Semoga hari hari kau tak lekang dengan senyuman.